Bad Behaviors: What Does God Think?
I've had multiple conversations recently with people about their struggle with unhealthy habits, tendencies and behaviors, so I thought this would be a good time to write about that.
What does God think about bad behaviors?
God’s affection towards you is not impacted by your behavior.
God cares very much about your behavior. Let’s see why!
Let me give you an example of how this plays out:
Let’s say someone drinks a lot of alcohol. Let’s say they know they drink a lot and that they are pretty confident they are not addicted to alcohol, but they are aware that their drinking is probably less than healthy, and the frequency and amount of alcohol is probably not the kind of drinking behavior they would have if Jesus were in the room.
God’s affection towards this person is not impacted by this behavior. The drinking doesn’t scare God away. God’s throne is not a throne of condemnation, it is a throne of grace. This person can still confidently draw near the Lord, talk to God and receive the fullness of God’s love towards them because of his unyielding grace and mercy. The behavior has no bearing on God’s desire for a relationship with this person.
Yet….God knows the consequences of this drinking behavior. It could range from late nights or bad sleep to driving after one too many drinks or health problems or marital conflict. He also knows that the drink is never going to get to the root of whatever is going on – if it’s stress, anxiety, depression, loneliness, frustration/anger or whatever it is. He knows that this person is not living in freedom but in bondage. He didn’t build our bodies to run off of excess anything and he knows that temporary solutions are often destructive.
Would it be loving of God to not care about that?
NO!
If he sees that and knows how this behavior is going to negatively impact us and those around us, it wouldn’t be very loving of him to not desire for us to change that behavior.
Don’t ever think that God wants you to change your behavior so that you’ll be good enough for him. That’s not what it’s all about. We will always fall short, regardless of how hard we try, so we MUST depend on God’s grace to cover our sin.
He didn’t wait for us to correct our behavior before he decided if he loved us enough to send his son.
NO!
While we were still sinners, by his grace, he loved us enough to send his son to rescue us and make a way for us.
He doesn’t expect us to get our stuff together in order to be with him. He just longs for us to change our bad behaviors because through his grace he wants us to experience the abundant life that comes only from walking in God’s ways.
It doesn’t matter if you drink, take pills, do drugs, overindulge in food, lie, gossip, hate, resent, disrespect others, lust, self-serve, or whatever else. His love is bigger than all of it and his grace is sufficient.
Don’t ever believe the lie that your behavior impacts how much God does or doesn’t like you, want you, show up for you, or desire a relationship with you.
He came for the sick, not the healthy. And shying away from entering into God’s presence because you have a bad behavior (or many bad behaviors) that you’re ashamed of is only giving satan the victory. That’s exactly what the evil one wants you to do – to shy away from God in shame. He’d love it if you would stay in that mindset for your entire life.
God absolutely loves it when you come before him despite your sin; when you draw near in the midst of your struggle. Even if you are cold to your bad behavior and not interested in changing it, he can handle that. You can still get on your knees, talk to God, tell him about your cold heart, tell him why you are not going to change that behavior; and if you’re so inclined, you can invite him to help you.
Living according to God’s will for our lives leads to freedom, peace, hope and love.
Who doesn’t want that?
Who wakes up saying that they just can’t wait to be bound by sin that thrusts them into a spiral of toxicity and unhealthy events in their life?
NO ONE!
We wake up hoping we’ll have a good day.
We wake up in the morning hoping that maybe today will be a little easier.
God cares about our behaviors because he has offered us grace for all of our shortcomings out of his love for us! He wants us to experience the abundant life that he has designed for us.
So what should you do if you have a behavior in your life that you know isn’t healthy?
It can be any less-than-ideal behavior – it doesn’t have to be drugs and alcohol – it could be binge watching Netflix into the wee hours of the morning or being selfish at work or at home.
Go to God and say, help me! I receive your grace. I’m humbled by your love. I am weak and know that I cannot do this alone. Please help me! (I can’t tell you how many times I’ve prayed that prayer – probably weekly)
Then, take steps to stop that behavior. Talk to God about your steps. Ask God to give you strength, courage, perseverance and motivation.
Practice self-control and decide what you can do to be more disciplined with things that are good for you instead of things that are bad for you.
And turn to the Lord each time you make the sacrifice or deny yourself of that temporary pleasure. Seek eternal things over earthly things. Spirit and truth over earthly pleasures. God is your audience, not man. More of him and less of us.
A relationship with God is where we find the strength to overcome those toxic behaviors.
Once you realize that you’re already forgiven by God’s grace and that God desires you to live in true freedom in him, suddenly that vice no longer has the appeal it had before.
I say this all the time:
God is in the business of turning darkness to light. He has been doing it since the beginning of time, and he won’t stop now.
As you receive his grace, abide in his love, and depend on him, you will find the freedom you are looking for.
